Instruments of torture from the dark Medieval days

Sunday 28 March 2010

Human beings are sick. Well, you can argue that so am I cause I wanted to go for this exhibition. My colleague was telling me about it and since Jerry hasn't been to Malacca, why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone?

Tortura 2 is an exhibition of torture instruments & methods used during the Medieval days, one of the most violent eras in history. The exhibition has been making its rounds around the world and was featured on History Channel recently. The website said it ends in Feb but when we went there in March, the exhibition was still on (due to popular demand it seems) so try your luck or call them to check. It's at the Malay Museum (opp the square) next to A Famosa.

I don't know why people are so fascinated by gore. Is there a dark beast lurking in all of us? Why does the entire town come out in droves everytime there's a public execution and why do the cheers get louder when someone is further humilated or mutilated? Just think Hostel and you really doubt humanity.

I found this in L.A. Parry's 1975 b­ook "A History of Torture in England" that attempted to explain why people would spend so much time & thought in inventing a device designed to hurt, maim and kill another human being.

­"...What strikes us most in considering the mediaeval tortures, is not so much their diabolical barbarity … as the extraordinary variety, and what may be termed the artistic skill, they displayed. They represent a condition of thought in which men had pondered long and carefully on all the forms of suffering, had compared and combined the different kinds of torture, till they had become the most consummate masters of their art, had expended on the subject all the resources of the utmost ingenuity, and had pursued it with the ardour of a passion."

Some instruments of torture back in the days

Of all the heinous methods, this one was the worse for me - and it used such a simple device. This was simply called The Saw.

It was popular all over the country as tools are easily available and it can be done almost anywhere. Victims, both men and women, were stripped naked and hung upside down with their legs spread apart. It was a cheap way to torture and kill a victim who was often accused of witchery, adultery, murder, blasphemy or even theft.

The torturer will start sawing from the groin and because the victim is hung upside down, blood flow to the brain keeps the victim alive longer. Most pass out when the saw reaches the navel and die when it reaches the heart. The fucking navel! Can't imagine the agony. Don't want to.

The Saw

The rack is the most common one used across Europe, where the victim's hands and feet are tied at each end. A crank will stretch the ropes further, which in turn, pulls on the victim's hands and feet. The muscles and ligaments will tear from the flesh first and after more cranks, the limbs will be dislocated and eventually pulled out of their sockets with an audible pop. Some racks have spike rollers behind the back which maims and paralyses the victim.

The Rack

The Wheel consists of a large wooden wheel with many variations. Victims were tied to the wheel and pushed down a rocky hillside or across metal spikes. The wheel itself could also have spikes mounted on it, so the pain came from all directions. Victims are grilled over fire too.

This one is quite bad - the victim would have the bones in all four limbs broken in two places and the shattered limbs threaded through the spokes of the wheel. The victim might be alive for hours, enduring the agony of his or her mangled arms and legs and the relentless heat of the sun and birds.

The Wheel

The Iron Maiden was an upright coffin with spikes on the doors and insides. Once the victim was inside, the doors were closed and the strategically placed spikes would pierce several vital organs. Two spikes are positioned specifically to penetrate the eyes. The spikes are not long enough to cause death and even blocks the wound, so it might take hours or days before the victim dies an antagonising death.

The Iron Maiden

The Judas Cradle involves placing the victim’s anus or vagina on top of a pyramid-like seat for hours or days. Weights are tied to the legs to increase pain. If the victim did not die quickly enough, they would invariantly die from an infection.

Judas Cradle

On a lighter note, lots of renovation works have been done to Malacca and there are a few new attractions since Malacca was declared a UNESCO Heritage in July 2008. You won't be able to recognise the Portuguese Settlement as they've tiled the pavements, added streetlights, and the wooden jetty is concrete now. Diners sit within a brightly-lit square with proper concrete stalls now. Not sure which one I like better. Oh - and they didn't give a shit about Earth Hour :P

Tubing in KKB

Friday 12 February 2010

If you're into rafting, you might already know that the water in Sg Selangor is way too low to do anything with it. There is another alternative though, although a much milder one. Try tubing instead.

Margy, the River Goddess, from Tracks, offers tubing upriver, somewhere above the dam. Rapids are not as swift (class I & II) as the rafting ones (class III - IV) used to be but it's still a blast anyway. Some pics from our ride before CNY.

More more about tubing here as I wrote about it for Star Weekender.

And since KKB is so near Fraser's Hill, why not make the drive up since you're already half way there?

Surfing in Malaysia? Yea you gotta believe it

19 - 21 March 2010

Yes yes I’ve been lazy! Or busy more likely… My darling Jerry is here and we’ve been too caught up exploring Asia that I’ve been neglecting my blog. Tubing at KKB, hikes at Fraser’s Hill, CNY with the family, Cameron Highlands, Bali, Samui, Phangan.. and now Cherating. Phew.. what a hectic month! Will try to upload if I have time.

Collage of what we did the past month

After a week’s breather in KL where Jerry got so bored he cleaned the house (which was really sweet of him), we decided to head to Cherating to check out the surf. Yes. There IS surf in Malaysia. Did some research and got in touch with SatuSuku Surf, apparently the only surf school in Malaysia. Harun 012-2237546 was so kind to even book a chalet (RM60 a night) for us at Payung Guesthouse.

SatuSuku Surf in Cherating

Our chalet at Payung Guest House

Surfing, mainly left-hander breaks, can be done in Cherating during the monsoon season (Nov-March) and it’s best during low tide. There’s basically just one spot where you can catch the waves and it’s great for beginners as the current doesn’t pull you out to sea.

Was surprised watching the surfers. The local guys are quite good! The little kids especially. Quite interesting to watch them riding the waves without a care in the world. Paddling out against the current looked tiring though.

Jerry waxing his board before hitting the waves

Jerry caught a few waves and I could almost hear him squealing in delight as he rode it with a huge grin on his face. Kk.. couldn’t really see him from so far but I could imagine it! He even woke up early to catch the morning waves in the heavy rain and all.

Catching some waves

Managed to video the last half of his wave

Besides surfing, there’s nothing much to do here. Cherating is really really really quiet! Very surprising as I thought it would be packed cause of school holidays but it felt like a ghost town. We walked up and down several times and kept meeting the same people trying to while away time.

Deserted Cherating

It rained the whole of Saturday, just our luck as the locals said it hasn’t been raining the past few days. Luckily it stopped at night and we were able to go on the firefly trip along the river. The boatman apologized to us saying that not many are out because of the rain but I thought there were quite a lot of fireflies anyway.

It was a pretty sight, with hundreds of tiny lights lighting up the trees as we cruised down the river in our little boat. Our boatman had a red light which attracted the fireflies and we managed to catch a few and watch it blink on our palms. Don’t worry.. no insects were hurt during the entire process..:) He did say the river had crocodiles and a 5m one was tangled in a fisherman’s net a few years back. Hmm..

This was the ONLY pic I that turned out ok. Rest was just pitch black.

Visited the turtle sanctuary (next to Club Med) before we left as it was just 2km away. Nothing much to see there except for the turtles swimming in the pool. Entrance is free but donations are encouraged. We were lucky as we got to see 10 5-day-old turtle hatchlings which were sooo cute! They released the rest into the sea already. Takes 20 years before they grow up & come back to lay their eggs. Long time huh?

Cherating Turtle Sanctuary

That’s all for our weekend in Cherating. Will try to upload more when I have time. Till our next adventure…

Tyng weds.. Finally!

Saturday 30 January 2010

One of my bestie friends Tyng Tyng is getting married today!! (My wife & I always joke that we only have 3 friends - Farshie, Tyng & me or my wifey. Pathetic huh? But they are the ones you know you can count on for life.)

She's been going out with Redwan for YEARS and always say they are getting married this year this year but always tak jadi. FINALLY it jadi for real! Tyng2 had 7 pengapits to carry her basket of hantaran for her so we were chosen as the privileged few. Farshie was supposed to be one too but she went & patah her kaki just before the wedding. Can't have a cacat person rolling down the stairs can we?

Farah picked us all up and as usual, we were late. (Shall not mention names on who we were waiting for ;P) Noriko had to call each one of us! Paiseh only cheh. Finally got there and Tyng2 was doing her makeup touches she look so prweeettyyyy!!!!

In Tyng's room before the ceremony

Bride looks stunningly gorgeous!

They had 7 hantaran each. Red gave Tyng a ring, LV bag, SKII set, mas kahwin, a MASSIVE hantaran cheque in a pelita, a MAC book, Godiva chocs and err can't remember la. Tyng gave him a ring, an Iphone, a man bag, an audio converter or sumthing, a wallet and urm.. lupa already. But was nice la..

The hantaran

The akad nikah ceremony was quite entertaining actually. I've been to a few and they were oh so BORING. Very uptight & proper. But this young kadi was so funny!! He was joking around and made such a serious religious ceremony into a light hearted one that got everyone relaxed and laughing. Tyng2 kaki kebas from sitting so long & she was trying to cover line when she had to get up after the ceremony was over heheh. Tyng Tyng you very funnyy...

They are husband and wife now!

You know when in western weddings they say you may now kiss the bride? hehe here cannot kiss so Tyng had to salam Red and Red kiss her forehead. Cho cweeet! Cincin so besar somemore. Oh, Tyng Tyng's handsome daddy cried in joy when he hugged her after the ceremony. So touching made us all wanna cry too...

Exchanging of rings

Photo sessions with the family

Red's mum made these damn nice wedding favours of a wood with encouraging phrases that you can hang on the wall. We were not supposed to choose when the lady handed it out to us. Mine was "He conquers who endures". Quite fitting. Most of us got something that was quite suited to our personalities. Nice!

All her friends turned up. Even the cacat one.

Congratulations Tyng & Red! May you live a full married life of happiness & joy always!! We love you!!

Thaipusam pilgrimage

Saturday 30 January 2010

Let me clear one thing first. I was born a Catholic and am Catholic by name. I currently don't believe in any structured religion but I do believe in the energy of the universe or a higher power.

It's a funny thing how I came to go for my annual Thaipusam pilgrimage. It all started four years ago - sheesh that's in 2007! - when I misplaced my favourite precious Tag Heuer. Well, I turned my entire house upside down (& Ivan's too) for the watch but I couldn't find it for 2 weeks! Was quite the devastated as I saved up a lot to get this lil baby!

My fav Tag

Thaipusam was around the corner and being a typical non-Hindu Malaysian, I have shunned Batu Caves like the plague every Thaipusam as you guys know the horrendous jam along MRR2 then. Since I've never been to Thaipusam in my life, I decided to make my inaugural trip in 2007.

Thaipusam is a celebration of Lord Muragan's birthday and the triumph of good over evil. Lord Murugan is supposed to be the God that grants wishes such as passing in exams, asking for a child, praying for your loved ones to get better, etc.

As I was swept into the crowd which was surprisingly orderly in its chaoticness, I asked Lord Murugan to grant me a favour. "Dear Lord Murugan" I said. "Please let me wake up tomorrow to find my Tag beside my bed".

Tomorrow came and for some reason, I decided to reach for my bag (which was on my bedside table) to open an inside zip which I hardly ever touch. Lo and behold, there was my Tag, gleaming in all its glory! Call it coincidence, call it fate or call it a miracle. Whatever it is, Lord Murugan answered my prayers. I had to go to Batu Caves the next day with Su to offfer coconuts in thanks.

From that year on, I've been going to Thaipusam without fail, each year, asking Lord Murugan for small favours which he has always granted. Of course, you can't ask for stuff such as I want an RX8 (which Su did & still hasn't gotten) but ask for goof stuff that will improve your life. He has always been good to me and I'm thankful to him.

2010 was no different. Ivan's 2 Australian cousins Sasha & Zoey were down so we decided to go on the eve instead. We usually go on Thaipusam night as it's less crowded. The crowds were massive that night! Check out the jam to Batu Caves. We had to park bout 800m away & walk.

The jam

The atmosphere was electric as usual. You can feel the vibrations of the drums as the devotees urge their kavadi-bearing friends along. There were carriers in trance, pierced ladies carrying milk vases and devotees with laden weights hooked on their bodies.

Milk carriers are dress in yellow

Weighted hooks on his body

Feeling no pain

Lord Murugan's huge statue. Check out the number of people on the stairs.

Colourful kavadi carriers

The crowd - amazing

Kavadi carriers

Scene before the stairs

It took us about an hour just to reach the main gate because we were inching along with the crowd and 4 hours to complete the round of going up the stairs, get my blessings and come down again. There's no such thing as turning back as there's no where to turn! You gotta move on. Never have I been squashed against so many people! Lucky I'm not claustrophobic. I ended up reaching home at 5am and I had to get up at 7.45am the next day for Tyng's wedding!

But it's awlays worth the journey and I recommend you experience it at least once in your life.

Sasha, Zoey, Me & Ivan. Black took the pic.

It's recommended that you release the coconut & flower offerings the next day in flowing water and I found just the place to do that in Sg Penchala.

Thank you Lord Murugan in advance for granting my wish this year once again. Till next year then.

Flying High

Sunday 17 January 2010

Have you ever wondered what goes on in the cockpit every time you fly in an aeroplane? What is it that they do to take you safely from one place to another? I’ve always wondered how it is like to fly a plane and was delighted to know that you can be a ‘pilot’ for a day with introductory flight programmes.

Aerovantage, the company who runs the programmes, introduced it in November last year. The pilot and booking services are arranged by the company whereas the aeroplanes are provided by FAS UDARA Flying Club (03-7846 4186 / 03-7805 2895).

The programme begins with a pilot explaining the workings and controls of the aircraft. My pilot was Capt Dylan Morvryn Bhaskaran, 35, who has 17 years of flying experience under his belt.

Capt Dylan

The aircraft was a Cessna 152, a small two-seater single engine general aviation plane used primarily for flight training and personal use. The Cessna 152 is the plane most people learn to fly in.

The Cessna 152

Capt Dylan said that the best time for flying is early in the morning from 7.30am to 9am or in the evening after 4pm before sundown. This is because the weather is nicer, winds are calmer and visibility is better.

Only one person is allowed to fly with the pilot at any given time but the briefing can be done individually or as a group, depending on the participants.

Capt Dylan started with a pre-flight walk-around check of the aircraft, pointing out the various mechanisms that work the plane. He explained what happens when the plane takes-off, when it climbs, how it turns and when it lands. He also taught me how to do an engine oil check and an external light check for safety reasons.

After the walk-around, I sat in the cockpit to learn about the control panel of the aircraft. I learnt how to read the altimeter, determine how fast we are flying, how quickly we are climbing or descending, how to direct the plane in the right direction, determine our artificial horizon and check the fuel gauge.

Me in the co-pilot seat of the Cessna 152!

Control panels in the cockpit

The Cessna 152 taking off!

It was extremely exhilarating as the small cockpit allows you to see everything that’s happening around you. I could see the flaps moving as the plane climbed, and hear the mechanisms work as it turned or gathered speed. The ground was getting smaller and smaller as we gained altitude.

After reaching a stable height at 1500 feet, Capt Dylan handed the controls over to me. My heart was beating excitedly as I took over the controls. I checked the altimeter, airspeed and directional indicator to make sure the aircraft was flying at the right speed at the right height and in the right direction. It was easier than I thought!

We flew from Subang over Shah Alam to Port Klang. Capt Dylan gave me a little treat and flew towards Pulau Ketam to see the kelongs. Pulau Ketam is usually not included in the flight route.

View of Shah Alam

View of Port Klang

Capt Dylan showed me a few tricks he learned such as making a 360º turn and doing surprise dips in the air. Although it left my stomach queasy, I was thrilled nonetheless as I have never experienced such G force before.

We headed back after a while for the taxi down. It was a smooth landing with not a single bump felt at all. An hour in the air went by in a blink of an eye! I was a little sad that the experience was over so fast but Capt Dylan cheered me up by saying that they offer longer flying programmes with other aircrafts. Hmm..tempting.

This particular programme cost RM590. To experience the introductory flight programme, call Shirley at 012-3800 370 or email shirley.selvaraj@gmail.com. Astuteexperirence card members, a loyalty card programme that allows members access to a host of hotels and lifestyle experiences, are entitled to a special rate. Call 03-21165851 or visit www.astutexperirence.com.

New year, new phone

Sunday 3 January 2010

Happy new year everyone!! I know, I know.. haven't been updating much lately as I had been lazy.. been receiving a few international guests in my home, feeling a bit like united nations now hahah.

Anyway... my trusty Nokia, the one Paulie exchanged with me a couple years back (it's so obsolete now I don't even know the model number), decided to konk out on me on new year's eve. Great timing right?

Kaputed...

Been reading this book - Bonfire of the Brands by Neil Boorman, I know I'm diverting here but it's a good book! It talks about how advertising and branding dominate our life and how Neil, who has been addicted all his life to the false sense of security brands provide, decided to burn every branded thing he owns and live a brand free life in a consumer-crazed world corrupted by marketeers.

Made me aware of how brands affect our lives. Took a look in my toilet and realised that I'm a sucker too. M&S shampoo & conditioner, Clinique facial foam, Dove body shampoo, L'occitane moisturiser, Crabtree & Evelyn salts, etc.. you get the picture. Why the hell did I buy M&S anyway? Quality sucks. Doesn't do jack shit to my hair. It just smells great and it's a brand. That's advertising for ya.

The book

Anyway, back to the phone - everyone around me, especially if you live in technology-crazy Asia, owns the latest gadgets - iPhone, Blackberry, HTC, pda phones- you name it. Even my dad owns the latest Nokia what-have-you! It's peer pressure damn it!

You gotta look cool, you gotta fit in. Heaven forbid you place an old Ericsson on the table during a high-powered business meeting. It's gotta be the latest, updated, most expensive - else, you're just not connected, cool or up-to- date enough. That's what branding does to you. Makes you feel inadequate, lowers your confidence, so you have to buy the latest damn thing.

Sadly, I am a victim of branding too as my phone needs to fit in with all the shiny new toys my friends proudly display on the table - taunting, looking down, pitying me...

What did I do then? Like a mindless sheep following the herd, I went in search of a new shiny toy too. Forget Sg Wang. You have everything at Digital Mall in PJ, plus no hassles of traffic jams, smelly crowds & expensive parking.

I decided on this - LG Arena KM900. Hey, Life's good with LG - isn't that what they promise you? It's not the top-of-the-line (RM1,300 cash) but it has touch screen, wifi, and most importantly, looks good.

My brand new shiny toy

My social status has been restored. I am confident once again. I am finally now accepted.